"ENCOUNTERING THE OTHER" BEGINS AT HOME!

LAST NIGHT TWO INTELLECTUAL SOIREES TOOK PLACE ON THE THEME OF DIALOGUE AND INVOLVEMENT WITH OTHER PEOPLE.

In Maynooth Archbishop Diarmuid Martin was speaking at an ecumenical gathering on the theme: ENCOUNTERING THE OTHER.

While in Belfast the great and the good gathered to hear a Vatican archbishop wax lyrical about Cahal Daly on the theme: GO THE EXTRA MILE - CAHAL DALY - REFLECTIONS ON THE PRACTICE OF DIALOGUE.

Of course, there is no real harm in having these intellectual naval gazing sessions followed by finger food and wine. 

But the question has to be asked: "DOES DIALOGUE, LIKE CHARITY, NOT BEGIN AT HOME?

DIARMUID MARTIN:

Diarmuid Martin is never done travelling the world and giving speeches on every topic under the sun. He has the knack of making the very PC soundbite and having all his words worshipped by the Dublin 4 crowd and his friends in The Irish Times. Dermo has hardly ever uttered an unpublished word. He is the doyen of the great and the good and the patron saint of the cucumber sandwich brigade. He smiles with the smiley brigade and weeps with the weepy brigade. He is all things to all men - a man for all seasons. In Rome, he is a Roman. In Dublin, he is a jackeen. In Paris, he is a francophile. If he was a film and stage actor his mantlepiece would be coming down with Oscars.

And last night he was speaking about ENCOUNTERING THE OTHER. 

His main responsibility in life is to be a pastor - a father to his priests and his people.

But there is hardly a bishop anywhere with a poorer relationship with his priests - with the exception of that small number of priests who are his favourites and his lapdogs.

Dublin used to have a very efficient personnel panel to advise him on clerical appointments. He abolished that and now makes his appointment on his own - with the help of archbishop@s house favourites.

There was a time when Dublin parishes had PP and curates. Diarmuid has watered those positions down to titles like "moderator" and CO PP in order to reduce people's rights in canon law.

Dublin used to publish its clerical appointments. Nowadays Dermo fails to publish and the appointments are all secret.

He appears to have the most empathy for Dublin priests who gay?

There is nothing at all wrong with encountering the others in the Anglican churches and others around the globe.

But what about Dermo's failures to encounter the other in his very own priests?

And as I say - does encountering the other, like charity, not begin at home?

CAHAL DALY:

Cahal Daly had a great name for "reaching out" to Protestants. 

However, that reaching was done in a formal and non-challenging manner. Little visits to Protestant churches. Little invitation of Protestants to Catholic churches - without Holy Communion of course. Nicely prepared intellectual talks - later published in pamphlets or in The Irish News. Expensive Christmas cards sent to COI bishops, Presbyterian moderators and Methodist presidents. Church Unity Week services in the better-heeled suburbs of Belfast. 

Bt at the very time, he was preaching about Catholic and Protestant reconciliation he was refusing to meet me or be reconciled with me. 

When I wrote to him asking for reconciliation he answered: "The fact that I have removed you from the diocese was an administrative action that does not affect our personal relationship"!!!

Really?

So he was saying that as my line manager he sacked me but we were still loiving Christian friends?

Is not one of the worst forms of dualism. It's saying: "In my capacity as your manager I am sacking you - but there is nothing personal in it and we can still be friends"?

The fact that he refused to meet me and refused to be reconciled with me made it necessary for me to stand in front of him in public on three occasions - to try and bring it home to him that you cannot preach about Catholic/Protestant reconciliation if you are refusing to have dialogue/reconciliation with one of your priests.

Once when I was in Divis Flats a young man came to my door with a very bloodied face. I brought him in, let him wash and made him tea and sandwiches as we sat down for a chat.

He told me that his father was a violent tyrant who beat his mother and his children on a regular basis.

I offered to go with him to his family home to have a chat with his dad.

When we arrived at the house I was shocked to see whose his father was. He was a local leader in several charismatic prayer meetings, carried a great big Bible and claimed to have the gift of healing.

When we entered the house the father was sitting in his armchair being waited on hand and foot by his wife and his cowering children were sitting around the room in silence.

At first, he greeted me but when he spotted his son behind me he became very aggressive.

He stormed out of the room, Bible under arm, ordering his wife to bring his food to his bedroom on a tray.

HYPOCRITE!

The world is full of street angels who are house devils.

The world is full of people who portray themselves on the world stage as sages and prophets but whose "home lives" are far from wise, prophetic, caring and loving.

There is such a phenomenon as a wolf in shepherd's clothing!

FORGIVENESS - PLUSSES AND MINUSES

Does Forgiveness Have a Dark Side?

Recent research suggests that forgiveness may sometimes impede 
positive change.

juliana breines

• Assistant Professor
• Behavioral Science
• University of Rhose Island

Forgiveness is widely considered to be a psychologically healthy and morally virtuous approach to coping with victimization. Research suggests that people who forgive more easily are happier and healthier than those who hold grudges. In addition, forgiveness interventions have been shown to reduce stress reactivity, increase optimism, and facilitate reconciliation with offenders.

Definitions of forgiveness vary, but most include two key elements: 1) intentionally letting go of negative emotions, such as anger and hostility, towards the offender; and 2) intentionally cultivating positive emotions, such as compassion and benevolence, towards the offender. Some definitions also involve seeking contact with rather than avoiding the offender.

Forgiveness advocates emphasize that forgiveness is not the same as excusing or condoning an offense, nor should it involve putting oneself in a position to be harmed again. Supporting this perspective, some research suggests that forgiveness can deter offenders from repeating their offenses. In one set of studies, participants reported that they would be less likely to repeat a transgression against a stranger who had forgiven as opposed to not forgiven them, and another set of studies found similar results in married couples.

Some have proposed that forgiveness could deter repeated offenses because of the norm of reciprocity, which dictates that positive acts (like forgiveness) should be reciprocated with positive acts (like avoiding repeating the offense). Others have countered, however, that the positive act of forgiveness may be reciprocated by a positive act that is not directly related to the offense, such as giving a gift.

In fact, research suggests that forgiveness may in some cases increase the likelihood of revictimization. A recent longitudinal study of newlywed couples found that spouses who expressed forgiveness more readily experienced steady rates of psychological and physical aggression from their partners over a four-year period, whereas less forgiving spouses experienced a decrease in aggression. Related studies have shown that more forgiving spouses are more likely to experience declines in relationship satisfaction over time if their partners frequently engage in negative behaviors, and that forgiveness can erode forgivers’ self-respect if offending partners have not made sufficient amends. Furthermore, in a daily diary study, spouses were more likely to report being the victim of a transgression on days after they reported forgiving their partner, compared to other days.

Why might forgiveness fail to reduce problematic behaviors?

According to theories of operant learning, people are less likely to engage in negative behaviors if these behaviors have adverse consequences. By reducing adverse consequences such as criticism and isolation, forgiveness may remove an important source of motivation for offenders to change. Supporting this perspective, one study of romantic partners found that direct expressions of anger and criticism were associated with increases in partners’ willingness to make positive changes.

Some degree of anger may also have benefits for victims as it can motivate them to steer clear of a potentially dangerous person. This is especially important in cases of intimate partner violence, where giving a violent partner a second chance could put one’s life at risk. Although forgiveness need not entail reconciliation, research suggests that people who forgive violent partners may be more likely to stay in the relationship.

Forgiveness may also have a dark side when it comes to correcting social inequality. Some research suggests that encouraging members of disadvantaged groups to forgive groups that have discriminated against and harmed them may reduce their motivation to address social inequality. In one study, indigenous Australians who were encouraged to think of an injustice perpetrated against them (the Stolen Generations) in a way that fostered forgiveness (i.e., appealing to common humanity) reported being less willing to engage in collective action on behalf of their group—this included willingness to participate in a peaceful demonstration aimed at improving the position of indigenous Australians and volunteering their time to help people in indigenous communities.

Forgiveness may quell destructive desires for revenge and retaliation, but at the same time it may reduce feelings of anger and frustration that can be channeled constructively into social change. Efforts to foster forgiveness for historic and current injustices may be most effective when they are joined together with equally strong efforts to attain justice. 

The likelihood that forgiveness will promote or impede positive change, whether in close relationships or on a broader scale, depends on a number of factors, including the severity of the offense, the number of times it has been repeated, and efforts of the offending party to make amends. If an offense is severe, repeated or prolonged, and the offender does not take responsibility or try to correct their behavior, forgiveness may be less likely to elicit positive change and may be more likely to put a victim in danger.

For many people, forgiveness can bring great relief and peace, but for others it may not be the best solution. Alternative ways to cope with victimization that don’t require forgiveness include practicing self-compassion (recognizing the injustice one has suffered and offering kindness to oneself), mindfulness (allowing oneself to feel hurt and angry), and connecting with and offering support to other victims. Sometimes giving oneself permission not to forgive—without feeling a sense of moral failure—can be just as liberating as choosing to forgive.

PAT SAYS:

The word FORGIVENESS like the word LOVE has become a much bandied about word and very often we do not think of the whole dynamic required in people being sorry for what they did and their victims forgiving them.

Those who cannot forgive - or who refuse to forgive is sometimes made to feel morally and socially INFERIOR.

I think that Dr. Breines piece above is a challenge to us all to think more deeply about that word and concept FORGIVENESS.

Let us not forget that those who have been hurt in the wrong have a RIGHT to the acknowledgment of their hurt - and a right to a sincere and heartfelt apology by the one or entity that hurt them.

The ideal scenario surely is when the person/entity who did the hurting asks forgiveness of their victim - allowing the victim to forgive or not to forgive?

The old thoughts behind Catholic Confession are helpful here. It goes more or less like this:

1. The offender is truly sorry for the offence and says so.

2. The offender is asked to do something to show the sincerity of their sorrow (penance).

3. The offended promises not to commit the offence again.

4. The offender is forgiven.

Someone sent me this beautiful video of a Holocaust victim forgiving their abuser:

I stand before this lady with awe - and dumbstruck by her spirit and by her strength.

And in her case her torturers are dead.

If they were still alive and still conducting medical experiments on Jewish children would she also forgive?

But Dr. Breines warnings are to be taken seriously. The dangers of :

1. An abuser/offender continuing their behaviours because they were forgiven and did not feel the consequences of their actions.

2. The danger of a victim forgiving and not steer clear of the dangerous person or other dangerous people. 

3. The danger of those who are forgiven of continuing their discrimination or injustice.

4. The danger of a forgiving victim not realising that they must challenge the wrongdoing.

And finally the alternatives to forgiveness:

1, Self-compassion.

2. Allowing oneself to feel the hurt and connecting with other victims.

3.  Sometimes giving oneself permission not to forgive—without feeling a sense of moral failure—can be just as liberating as choosing to forgive.

Over to you dear reader..................................

"NEVER SPEAK ILL OF THE DEAD"

I AM NOT A FAN OF THAT PROVERB/PLATITUDE: "NEVER SPEAK ILL OF THE DEAD!.

Simply "being dead" does not give anyone an absolute right to be spoken well of and not spoken ill of.

I was reminded of this last night as I was cooking my dinner and my doorbell rang. It was a homeless man (48). He broke up with his wife last December and has been sleeping rough in England and Belfast ever since. He also has some mental health issues - depression, anxiety, self-harming and suicidal thoughts. 

I managed to find him a bed for the night in Belfast and I gave him his train fare to get there and a few quid for some food.

During our chat, he told me about his father and his father's funeral. His father had been a violent alcoholic and is probably greatly responsible for the state this man is now in.

At his father's funeral, a priest who did not know his father was giving him a glowing send off. My friend stood up and said: "I'm here to bury a father I never knew and who tortured me all my life".

He was ushered out of the church by family members and parishioners and his family has not spoken to him since.

He asked me what I thought and I repeated to him something my own dead father used to say: "If someone was a bastard when they were living they become a dead bastard when they die".

People sometimes say that we should not speak ill of the dead because they are not here to defend themselves. Nonsense. We should tell the truth about both the dead and the living. And just as the dead are not here to defend themselves - they are not here to be hurt by what is said about them.

I do not like the fact that death seems to give people the automatic right to canonization.

CAHAL DALY:

This Friday evening in Queen's University, Belfast there is a gathering of the great and the good to celebrate the centenary of Cardinal Cahal Daly who was born in 1917.

It is called the Cardinal Cahal B Daly Memorial Lecture.

The speaker is Archbishop Paul Gallagher from The Secretariate of State in the Vatican. The lecture is entitled: "Go The Extra Mile - Reflections On The Practice Of Dialogue".

A suitable floury and meaningless title.

Presumably, it is going to talk about Daly as "going the extra mile" and about him being a man of "dialogue".

Cahal Daly was a little bully who would not budge an inch with or for anyone. He did not engage in dialogue. He pontificated and gave orders. 

He may have had ecumenical cucumber sandwiches with Protestant notables and the fur coat brigade - but that was as far as his "dialogue" went.

At our last meeting in October of 1985 - 32 years ago now - he asked me if I believed if that the bishop was the voice of God?

He said that this was a teaching of St. Ignatius of Antioch.

I told him that I did not believe that nonsense - which he seemed to believe absolutely.

I asked him if that meant that when he broke wind God broke wind!

Pity I did not ask him also: "Would God cover up child abuse"

All you have to do is look at last week's cock up by Phonsie Cullinan of Waterford condemning cervical cancer vaccines.

Does that mean that God condemns cervical cancer vaccines?

And when Phonsie had to apologize later for his ignorant statement - does that mean that God was apologizing for his ignorance?

It's always very dangerous when men think that they are God or that they speak for God.

How many atrocities have been caused by that kind of mindset?

How many millions of people have perished as a result of that kind of thinking and practice by those who believe that they are god-like in their rule and their power?

Religion is one of those areas where men like to claim they speak for God. And just look at the abuse and atrocities that have come from that claim.

"WOE TO YOU WHEN MEN SPEAK WELL OF YOU.

THIS WAS THE WAY THEIR FATHERS TREATED THE FALSE PROPHETS"

(Luke 6:26)

IRIS DE MENT

IRIS DE MENT

LET US TAKE A BREAK TODAY FROM "HOLY MOTHER CHURCH" AND ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE YOU TO ONE OF MY FAVOURITE SINGERS - IRIS DE MENT.

I find her music attractive because she sings in a very soulful, often sad way and because I find a spirituality in her lyrics.

I had the privilege of meeting her many years ago when he gave a concert at Queen's University, Belfast. 

That night her backers sound system did not work and she was going to cancel the concert and I went up to her and said: Iris, it's you we came to listen to. Forget the backing and sing for us with your guitar. She did.

After the concert, we corresponded for a while and then we lost touch.

AN AFTERLIFE:

One of the things we all think about is what happens when we die. Is there an afterlife etc.

I think Iris' song LET THE MYSTERY BE is how we should think about that:

The afterlife - and I firmly believe there is one - is a mystery. So, let the mystery be and let us live this one to the full and do all the good we can.

PAIN:

When I met Iris I felt that, rightly or wrongly, I saw a lot of pain in her face. I don't know if it was past pain or present pain.

We all have times of pain in our lives. But there is always a tomorrow, a tomorrow when everything is going to be better.  Her song INFAMOUS ANGEL speaks to me.

LOSS:

One of the great pains we all have in life in the pain of loss - of losing some to death or reaching the end of a relationship.

At those times - when we are deep in the winter of loss - it feels that things will never get better.

But they do! There will always be scars and memories left. But it becomes possible for us to live again after loss. Iris' song EVEN AFTER YOU'RE GONE is very meaningful to me.

I suffered a great sense of loss when my mother JoJo died after she had lived with me for the last 16 years of her life. I was the first of her 17 births. 

MAM 1929 - 2006

In March this year, I lost my favourite sister Margaret. She and I had been in each other's lives - and very close for 64 years.

MAGS 1953 - 2017

THE HEROES OF ROUTINE:

Most of us have lives of routine - at home, in the office, on the building site etc.

And yet the world would not work without the routine of the mother, the bus driver, the pharmacist, the refuse collector etc, etc.

Very few people get to be rich and famous and powerful - and even those who are not always happy.

We all have to be HEROES OF ROUTINE.

We all have to find meaning - and God if we want him - in the daily routine.

Iris's song EASY'S GETTING HARDER EVERY DAY is an anthem to the miracle and virtue of the daily routine:

CONCLUSION: I know that not everyone will like Iris De Ment the way I do. 

I confess to being a "country" fan.   

Maybe you readers might like to tell us about a favourite singer of yours, a favourite song, favourite lyrics - and why they mean what they do to you?

GETTING DRESSED FOR MASS!!!

THE VATICAN GIRLS DRESSING ROOM

Below you will find a video that gives us a disturbing glimpse into what some people think the Church should be like.

The cardinal in this video - RAYMOND BURKE - is one of Pope Francis' chief enemies in the church and in the Vatican. 

A lot of the young priests being ordained today like the style of church that Burke stands for - loads of lace, ermine and exquisitely tailored cassocks, albs and surplices.

Many of these guys are also secretly and actively gay - in promiscuous ways.

Its as if church ceremonies allow them to parade their feminine side.

This is not an old video.

These dressing up shows are happening today!!!

What it all has to do with Jesus of Nazareth and being pastors I do not know!

AND REMEMBER BURKE IS STILL RELATIVELY YOUNG AND STILL ABLE TO VOTE IN PAPAL CONCLAVES

MORE PICS OF BURKE

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WHAT DO READERS THINK?

WHO WILL REPLACE DM IN DUBLIN?

DM WITH GORGEOUS

The Vatican and the Irish papal nuncio have begun to plan for Diarmuid Martin's retirement and to finding his replacement.

As part of this, they will go through the motions of consulting the Dublin clergy. However, we all know that this is only ticking a box. The opinions and desires of the Dublin priests will not matter a jot to Rome.

They will ask Dermo what he thinks too. But Dermo will have no veto. Although it is said that he has a personal favorite in Bishop Paul Tighe - a Dublin priest who works in the Vatican. Dermo has been pushing his name forward with his contacts in Rome. Tighe is an expert on media and communications. Does Dublin really need another media and PR man? Surely not? Dublin needs a real pastor who will work at restoring the morale of its priests which sank to an all-time low under DM.

Or will Rome promote one of the current Irish bishops to Dublin? \sadly the current Irish bishops are a sad lot.

You have Doran (a former Dublin priest) in Sligo who distinguished himself during the same-sex marriage debate by comparing homosexuality to Downs Syndrome! The Sligo people I talk to regard him as a bearded irrelevancy. 

KEVIN "GAY = DOWNS SYNDROME" DORAN

You have Ous Dei minded Phonsie in Waterford who distinguished himself recently by making a fool of himself over the cervical cancer vaccine.

PNONSIE "NO VACCINES" CULLINAN

You have Noel Treanor in Down and Connor who fought with Ian Elliott of the child protection body and who renovated his palace at an undisclosed cost of between 1 and 4 million.

NOEL "NEVER AT HOME" TREANOR

You have Ray Brown in Kerry who is still sheltering King Puck at his cathedral in Killarney.

RAY " FREE KING PUCK" BROWNE

You have "ONE OF THE LADS" "CALL ME DENNIS" Nulty from Kildare and Leighlin.

DENIS "THE LAD" NULTY

You have Fintan "Lugs" Monahan in Killaloe who caused major controversy by imposing a priest as principal on his diocesan secondary college.

FINTAN "LUGS" MONAHAN

You have McKeown in Derry who gave off about wedding receptions at Knock recently and who has resorted to the old tack of shifting problem priests from parish to parish - not to mention all his "disappeared" priests.  

DONAL "HYGIENE" MC KEOWN

You have poor Amy in Armagh who has presided over the Rory Coyle and Eamon McCamley indecent exposure issues and who is getting to the point of having more priests in sex clinics in America than he has in many parishes - not to mention having priest's daughters speak at their father's funerals.

AMY "ME MAMMY" MARTIN

I'm afraid that Rome has not too many bishops worth thinking about shifting to Dublin. Although they could send Leahy of Limerick (a former Dublin priest). Having said that he has not exactly set "Stab City" on fire with his ministry.

For an organization with such a long history and with so many resources at its disposal, the Roman Catholic Church has not produced too many good leaders! Is that any wonder when they were  "formed" them in places like Gaynooth?

Of course, in every race there are the dark horses:

- The bearded Jesuit late of Raphoe?

- Some relatively unknown monsignor or priest from the Curia.

- A religious order man - JC McQuaid was a Holy Ghost when appointed in 1940. Of course, he had the backing of his friend Eamon De Valera.

- A really dark horse - a priest of Dublin diocese?

We can be quite certain of one thing. Whoever is appointed will be a "yes" man and a safe pair of hands.

He will be irrelevant in 21 st Century Ireland who has called TIME on the Catholic Church and its influence.

He will be an uninteresting little "Napoleon" who will lead his decreasing number of  "marche a terre" (foot sloggers) towards their Waterloo.

THE OPUS DEI CULT

Opus Dei's Questionable Practices

The following practices of Opus Dei are not common knowledge and need to be examined and questioned. The serious issues ODAN raises are based on a collection of first-hand personal experiences.

• Corporal mortification
• Aggressive recruitment / undue pressure to join
• Lack of informed consent and control of environment
• Alienation from families

Corporal Mortification

Corporal mortification (self-inflicted pain and deprivation) is perhaps the most shocking practice. See the corporal mortification web page for more details.

Aggressive Recruitment

 “University residences, universities, publishing houses. . . are these ends? No, and what is the end? . . . to promote in the world the greatest possible number of souls dedicated to God in Opus Dei…”(Founder of Opus Dei, Cronica, v, 1963)

Within Opus Dei, a heavy emphasis is placed on getting individuals to commit their lives to Opus Dei. Members' pursuit of potential members is aggressive and similar to the tactics used by totalistic groups. Because of this, ODAN believes the group violates the personal freedom of individuals.

• Opus Dei has a highly structured apostolate. Opus Dei members form "teams" and develop strategies to attract new members. For example, if the potential recruit is an avid skiier, then the numeraries may plan a weekend ski trip, when the "numerary friend" is pressured to tell the recruit that she may have a vocation, after which the numerary must report back to the Director. If the recruit is receptive, then the Director may talk more in depth about the vocation. They discuss "promising recruits" at their daily get-togethers (for members only) and during spiritual direction with Opus Dei priests and lay members. Opus Dei members often know which recruits are closest to joining, even if the person is hundreds of miles away.  
• Opus Dei members are typically taught to always have twelve to fifteen "friends," with at least three or four who are very close to joining. This leads to the utilization of friendship as "bait." Far too often, Opus Dei members drop friendships with those who are unlikely to join Opus Dei.
• Opus Dei members are required to report regularly to their lay Spiritual Directors on the progress of their personal recruiting. They also fill out statistics on their "friends," which may include the following: number of apostolic visits made; Opus Dei meditations attended; Opus Dei retreats made; confessions with an Opus Dei priest, etc. How does Opus Dei use this information? Why is it necessary? The recruits do not know they are being discussed and targeted in this way, a violation of their freedom and privacy.
• Opus Dei members befriend and cultivate young idealistic individuals through front groups at universities and schools and/or through affiliation with groups like Right to Life, young adult Catholic groups and St. Thomas More Societies. Some groups are completely Opus Dei-run and exist primarily for the purpose of attracting potential Opus Dei members. The groups' affiliation with Opus Dei is typically not immediately recognizable nor initially disclosed. An example of an Opus Dei "front group" is UNIV, an international convention of college students that is used by Opus Dei to attract "select" individuals who could potentially become members, particularly by participating in a yearly trip to Rome during Easter week when unsuspecting participants are aggressively pursued to make a commitment to Opus Dei while in Rome at the Opus Dei headquarters. These statements are based on the personal testimonies of former members, who also witnessed first hand the targeting of potential Opus Dei members while participating in groups not necessarily run by Opus Dei. The Opus Dei members joined these groups in order to find and befriend individuals who would more likely join Opus Dei.
  
  In addition to groups targeting young people, Opus Dei also attempts to attract potential "supernumerary" members by infiltrating parishes throughout the world. It is often very difficult to determine the extent of Opus Dei's influence in a given parish. Opus Dei members very often conceal their identity to "outsiders."

Undue Pressure to Join

Selected individuals are relentlessly pursued to consider a vocation or calling to Opus Dei.

• Opus Dei members carefully stage "vocational crises" at vulnerable moments in recruits' lives. The recruits are often told that God calls people at certain times in their lives, and if they say "no" they will never receive God's grace in their lives because they are "on the wrong track."
• Opus Dei members often tell their "friends" that failure to follow a calling to Opus Dei will lead not only to a life of misery and discontent, but possibly to eternal damnation.

Lack of Informed Consent and Control of Environment

When recruits decide to join Opus Dei, they vaguely commit themselves to live "the spirit of Opus Dei" without knowing the details of that commitment. The initial commitment, called "whistling," involves the writing of a letter to the prelate of Opus Dei asking to become an Opus Dei member. From that moment, new members are greeted with exuberance and welcomed into the fold. Eventually, the details of new memberships are revealed, and the new members are expected to comply, even if they object or have reservations. A great psychological burden is placed on the new members: they must be faithful to the commitment they have made by obeying all that their directors tell them is "the spirit of Opus Dei;" otherwise, they are turning their back on God. If they decide to leave Opus Dei, they have often already heard that they will surely live a life without God's grace, and may even be damned.

Opus Dei tightly controls the lives of its members, especially the numerary members who pledge celibacy and typically live in Opus Dei residences. The following are some examples of the controls placed on Opus Dei numeraries, which are part of the "spirit of Opus Dei:"

• Opus Dei numeraries are expected to hand over their entire salaries to Opus Dei, and generally may not hold their own bank accounts.  The numeraries are told to use money as if they were the mother in charge of a large and poor family.  They ask for the money they need each week and are then required to report how it was spent to the penny.  Opus Dei does not provide any financial report that indicates how the members' money is spent.
• Both incoming and outgoing personal mail is generally read by the Directors of each Opus Dei residence, without the knowledge or consent of family and friends.
• Reading material is strictly controlled, as are television viewing, listening to the radio, and other forms of recreation and entertainment.
• Opus Dei numeraries notify their Directors of (and secure permission for) their comings and goings.
• Opus Dei numeraries are required to practice corporal mortification such as the use of a cilice (a spiked chain worn around the thigh), flagellation, and sleeping on the floor or on boards.
• Opus Dei numeraries are required to confess weekly and are strongly discouraged from confessing to a non-Opus Dei priest.
• Opus Dei numeraries typically may not attend events which are not conducive to proselytizing, such as athletic games, theater, concerts, movies, etc.  In the rare instances when they may attend these events, permission must be secured from the Opus Dei directors.
• Opus Dei members are enjoined to confess even their slightest doubts to Opus Dei priests and/or Spiritual Directors; otherwise, "the mute devil takes over in the soul."

Alienation From Families

Communication to family about involvement with Opus Dei is limited and even discouraged.

• Opus Dei teaches individuals (despite their ages) that it is acceptable and even advantageous to leave parents and loved ones out of the decision-making process because "they will not understand."  Most parents learn of their child's lifetime commitment to Opus Dei months and even years later.  Many times, parents do not realize their children have  joined because the numeraries are told to remain in university residences and do not move into centers designated exclusively for numeraries, so as not to raise any suspicions.  Gradually, the bond of trust between child and parent is broken.
• Display of pictures of loved ones is discouraged, not by rule, but by subtle example.

PAT SAYS:

OPUS DEI is indeed a cult. As the above piece shows it operates in ways that are typical of cults. 

To be a good person you do not need to whip yourself or to wear a spiked chain around your upper leg. These practices are a mixture of twisted religious beliefs and pure sadomasochism. 

All of us have enough things in our lives that cause us pain and suffering without turning to medieval psychosis to try and please a God that is some kind of Sadistic Master.

In the Scriptures, God tells us that he wants LOVE, not SACRIFICES.

Add to this the brainwashing and destruction of families that Opus Dei engage in.

Opus Dei is also interested in taking people's wealth and comes off them. It has become a very rich cult with a massive property portfolio.

It's interesting to see who among the Irish bishops support Opus Dei.

We know Phonsie in Waterford does - and this week we have seen the fruits of Phonsie's love affair with Opus Dei.

Not so long ago Diarmuid Martin gave Opus Dei one of the wealthiest parishes in Dublin - Merrion.

However, Diarmuid does not whip himself or wear the spiked chain around his upper leg. A senior Dublin priest told me that Diarmuid gave the OD a wealthy Dublin after he was asked to do so by someone in Rome whom Diarmuid thought would help him secure a red hat.

That stunt of Dermo's does not seem to have worked for him.

As we know everything Dermo shoes is done for reasons of church politics and his own career.

There are many families in Ireland and all over the world who can tell stories of losing family members to Opus Dei for many years - and sometimes permanently.

Never allow yourself or a loved one anywhere near Hokus Dei.